Yesterday while walking home from work a realisation dawned on me. Some might even say I had an epiphany. Others might say that I just wanted to use the word, and what I really had was a mild stroke or case of delirium from inhaling exhaust fumes.Whatever the cause, I came to realise that throughout my life I’ve always wanted to be a super hero. I remember the entirely impractical plans I had as a child of donning a mask and cape and a sword and becoming Zorro (TV Zorro, not Antonio Banderas).
Sure, I know that trying to fight crime in the streets of Brisbane in a black sports car (I wasn’t confident about riding a horse) stopping misdeads with a sword is just plain ridiculous, but this sort of vigilante heroism is what I grew up with.
While working at Pizza Hut I became dissatisfied with the work because I wasn’t doing enough good. Sure, I could throw the odd Garlic Bread freebie out there to the downtrodden and inconvenienced customer, but I just didn’t feel that was enough.
So, what did I do. I decided to sit a giant exam (the GAMSAT) to apply for entry into medicine. Having absolutely no experience in Physics and remembering very little from High School Chemistry I came out with a mediocre score, but not so mediocre that I didn’t get an interview. But presumably mediocre enough to not be accepted.
So, after that failure, and after recognising that perhaps being a doctor wasn’t the best way to save the world, I gave up. Well, I gave up for about 6 months.
After those 6 months I was prepared to save the world in entirely new ways. Attempting to enlist as an Officer in the Royal Australian Navy. All was well up until the Psychologist interview, where I was told that I needed to make more friends, improve my self esteem and talk my problems out with people (think touchy-feely). They did seem pretty interested in me though as I received a phone call yesterday encouraging me to re-activate my application in 12 months time.
However, seeing as I was going to take a minor pay hit for 2 years of training, I’m not sure if I could take the pay hit in a year’s time. But only time will tell. Essentially if I still feel like enlisting in 12 months, I will.
So, stuck in the civilian world (for at least 12 months) I am looking for new ways to save the world and be a hero. That’s what I think my latest plan is about. Instead of fighting off terrorists or demon space monkeys (that just sounded good, I don’t actually believe in demon space monkeys) I could fight for the environment, but not quite like those crazy greenies (the ones with the Shaggin' wagons that spit out black smoke).
And if logic doesn’t serve as a proper weapon, perhaps it will again be time to don a cape and a mask and take to the streets…