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Melbourne Cup rigged?

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The question of whether or not the Melbourne Cup was rigged came to mind Today as the horse named after a bunch of office broads crossed the finish line for the third time in three years. Now normally crossing the finishing line three times isn’t a big deal, but doing it while participating in a race where some over enthusiastic midget is beating you over the back with something he may well have purchased from the local sex shop is probably more significant. Of course, doing it in the race that people who forget that horses even exist 364 days of the year get really excited about is a real feat. Or apparently it seems to be. This victory seems to be being seen as Australia’s 2nd greatest moment (second only to the invention of cask wine).

With it being seen as such a great moment in Australian History (which says something about our history) I questioned whether this particular horse would be disqualified if it used performance enhancing drugs (or if the jockey took some tips from the models that were flaunting the most impractical of hats). My guess is that it would be covered up so as to not taint such a moment in Australian history. At the same time, other jockeys, and indeed possibly even the horses were probably thinking “Let’s let her win”. With the male horses thinking they might be able to get some Diva booty after the race as thanks for their sacrifice.

Would the judges destroy a moment in Australian History just to stick to the rules? I doubt it. To see Australia’s greatest moment be turned into Australia’s greatest shame just wouldn’t have fit the mood.

Of course the horse has put in for retirement and this has been approved by senior management. Whether the horse’s retirement will actually involve a bullet in the back of the head, a prompt stuffing, a heart in a museum, several cans of dog food and some crazy glue is less certain.