When I received an unsatisfactory reply to my first complaint to Telstra I started work on a new scathing reply hoping to get the response I wanted from my first complaint. Unfortunately Telstra’s reply was almost identical.

Hi,

I have attached my original complaint letter in case it has been misplaced.

Thank you for your reply. When I first read it I laughed. Despite the amount of practice you (I’m using the term to collectively refer to Telstra (whom you represent), so please do not take this as a person attack) must have dealing with complaints you don’t seem particularly good at it.

I refer to the first line of my email. That’s right, the first line: “Please redirect this complaint to the necessary area”. Nowhere in my email did I suggest that it would be even a remotely acceptable response to provide telephone numbers where I could presumably read my letter to. In fact, one of these phone numbers was the subject of my fifth complaint (see original letter attached).

Ignoring the first line of my letter is much like “showing a red rag to a bull” or “poking the bear”. More likely these terms are referred to internally as “servicing the customer”.

I chose to send my complaint in writing for the primary reason that it could be forwarded to the appropriate people without losing anything in the translation. This is highly preferable to calling up, telling the whole story only to be passed on to another operator to start all over again.

Perhaps you don’t appreciate the wonders of the written word and its impact on history. Before cavemen started drawing images on the cave wall the only way to pass knowledge was through speech. Once written words were formed there became a means to pass on information without requiring the original author present. Furthermore the communication was able to be passed on exactly as the author intended.

This system was still held back by the amount of time it took to reproduce a written document. Fortunately the invention of the printing press made rapid duplication of a written document feasible leading eventually to increased literacy in the general populace. Several years later, computers were created that could copy information perfectly at high rates. This is where we are today.

I expected that it would be a simple case of locating an email address for the necessary departments and forwarding the email to them. Clearly this must be a new technology that hasn’t yet filtered down to Telstra from the world of academia.

Consequently I hope that Telstra is more familiar with the postal service. Please provide me with the postal address details of each of the relevant heads of department that my letter should be addressed to. Also, please provide the postal details for the head of Bigpond and head of Telstra who I will also send a copy of my letter to. I will be adding an additional covering letter detailing my dissatisfaction of your complaints handling process.

If you can not provide me with this information I would like a full explanation of why this is the case. “We do not provide this information” is not an explanation, nor is “call this number”.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to your prompt reply,

Rhys Parry